In the cool of the morning, while the sun still worked its way into the sky above, I sat on my deck overlooking the grassy back lawn, just taking it all in. I put on my favorite worship music, and sipped on my favorite coffee- oh how I loved a nice hot cup of dark roast to start my day. I could hear my little girl giggling and singing- music to my ears. I observed as she ran about, and my heart was filled with joy for all the good God had provided. “Father, you are good,” I quietly proclaimed.
But, the thing about life is that nothing on this earth is promised. Quickly, my grateful heart twisted in knots, as I noticed my once joyful daughter now struggling, jerking about uncontrollably- another seizure that had taken hold of her little body and brain. Fear gripped my heart, and the praises I was singing just moments earlier suddenly felt so distant.
You see, my young daughter has a form of epilepsy that has left us on quite the tumultuous emotional journey. In the blink of an eye things can go from good to horrible, without warning. This was one of those times.
In my heart and mind, this journey can so often tangle up the characteristics of my broken experience with the true character of my God.
Can you relate?
I mean, it’s relatively easy to proclaim that God is good when life feels good, but if that proclamation is our unchanging truth, it must remain firm even in the darkest of moments.
If God is truly good, He is still good when life is not.
He is still good when relationships are not.
He is still good when finances are not.
He is still good when health is not.
As humans, we have a tendency to define our understanding from our own experience. Still slowly I am learning that my circumstance in this broken life cannot define my God. No, He is bigger than all of this- any hard, hurtful, struggling thing you may face today.
And, as I grow through this walk I am reminded that we all have a choice in the matter. We can continue to stare the hard stuff in the face- taking in all of the moments that crush our spirit and dwelling on all the what ifs and why not’s.
OR, we can look into the eyes of our Savior;
The one who stays by our side as we walk through the darkest of valleys,
The one who gently lifts us up when life has knocked us down once more.
The one who has promised to always stay, even if no one else does.
The one who is love embodied- unchanged by our questions and wandering amidst the hard moments of life.
The one who is a steady hand when we grow weary.
A hiding place when the world threatens to overwhelm us.
Our strength when we have grown far too weak on our own.
As we face the most difficult moments in life, may the truth of Him be enough. May we recognize a Savior who has ultimately made a way for us, and one who is good, ALWAYS, even when what we currently face doesn’t feel so good after all.
Though we may never understand why He does not change our circumstance, that does NOT change HIM. He is still the faithful one, loving, compassionate, and trustworthy. He is STILL GOOD.