Fear in the Ordinary: What They Don't Tell You About Being a Sick Kid's Mom
When Avery had her first seizure, there was fear.
And, when we received her diagnosis, there was fear.
And, in a number of other obvious situations, like when your kid is being lifted into the air on a medic helicopter while you watch helplessly from the ground, or when a crowd of medical professionals try to shove a tube down her airway to keep her little body alive - there's FEAR.
Like A LOT of fear.
But, I never realized the way in which epilepsy would creep into our ordinary days, breathing fear into the seemingly insignificant tasks that make up a life.
Like when your other child needs you at a field trip, or school party, or awards ceremony, BUT you can hardly bare the thought of asking someone else to watch over her.
Or when, you desperately need a date night with your spouse, but it's painful to drive more than 5 minutes away because the whole time you will be worried, instead of relaxed. And, forget that anniversary cruise you've been dreaming of for the last 10 years.
Or the way planning a family vacation or a weekend at the lake now seems nearly impossible...
Because, where is the nearest hospital? And will I have cell phone reception? And, how long will it take the EMS to get here?
And, even if we are at home...
is she too hot? Or too cold? Is she getting sick? Or tired? Is the sun shining in her eyes?
See, if we allowed it, FEAR would reign supreme in all things.
Because epilepsy IS scary. Having a sick kid IS scary. SO many things in this life truly ARE scary.
Here's the thing: the feeling of fear is OK. The very definition of fear is an unpleasant emotion caused by the threat of danger, pain, or harm.
Fear become a problem only when we allow it to take root and grow.
Today, my challenge to myself, and to you, is not to live a fearless life, BUT to live a life not controlled by fear. To recognize fear and put it to rest, by taking shelter in the Most High God.
May we be aware of danger, but controlled by faith.
When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. Psalm 56:3
Even though I walk through the darkest valley,I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. Psalm 23:4
What is causing you to fear today?
Leave us a comment and we'll pray for you!
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