The #1 Tool You Need In Order To Offer True Forgiveness

Updated: Jan 22, 2019





I found myself sitting in the dimly lit church office grappling with the concept. Forgiveness.


It's just one word, yet the implications of the term are huge.


And, as I grappled, I began to research. I found step by step concepts.


I found lists of what it should look like. I found actions, 1-10. But, the reality is, in the face of true, deep betrayal, those steps and lists seem to fall flat. In the face of experiencing wrongdoing, in life, but particularly in marriage; a wrongdoing that wrecked a heart- a step by step program almost seems superficial.


So, what is the answer? As a counselor, I set out to find one.


That's when I came across this idea; forgiveness is less of a to-do list and more of a supernatural event. It all made sense. These lists and step by step actions have their place, but without God, they simply aren't enough.


You see, forgiveness is something that makes no sense to the human mind and heart. In fact, we are often ingrained in the opposite concept. We can't quite grasp how one truly forgives.


BUT, then there is God. The one who poured out His blood, gave His very life, in order to offer forgiveness to His enemies. This is REAL forgiveness, supernatural indeed.


Perhaps instead of looking to a list, we should be looking to a God, who is the very source of forgiveness, Perhaps, it should be less about following steps, and more about an act of worship- obedience to the one who is our ultimate example.




The #1 thing you should know about forgiveness is without God, it's impossible.


My #1 piece of advice regarding the topic? Make it less about you and more about Him.


When you identify forgiveness for what it really is you can focus your eyes more intently on the Savior, and worry less about the one who has wronged you. When you recognize that you are too weak to carry out this daunting task on your own, you become aware of your need for His supernatural strength.


God is at work here, in the midst of your hard, broken places. He can help you forgive if you let Him, and in the process, your obedience brings honor to the King of Kings.


" Get rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." Ephesians 4:31-32


Have you experienced God at work in your forgiveness story? We would love to hear from you! Drop a comment below.


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