Holy Moments to Be the Friend You Want to Have

Updated: Jun 18, 2018



Longing for friendship and connection starts early in life. Every girl knows there’s no age limit on friendship. My daughter toddles out to the pool with her baby-doll stroller, clomping in her grandma’s pretty red shoes. She loves the clackity-clack of hard soles on hot cement. Grandma follows close to make sure this little one stays away from the edge of the pool.


Cute as a bluebird, she perches on the side of the pool in her ruffled bathing suit. Greeting everyone in sight, she chirps, “Hi. What’s your name?” By the end of the afternoon, she has met many of the adults and most of the children at the pool.


With her three-year-old wisdom, no one needs to tell her this truth: there’s just something special about a friend. A gift from God, friendship is an important part of enjoying life.


Be the friend you want to have.


Over the years, God has richly blessed me with growth, encouragement, and inspiration through friendships with other women, something I love to call the gift of girlfriend.


Side by side and heart to heart, authentic friends add joy and fun to our lives, but they can also help us grow through life’s challenges.


Relational beings, women need to connect with trusted friends. More and more, I’m learning to ask God to help me be the friend I want to have, choosing to trust Him with the results. When I focus on blessing and encouraging others, it’s easier to let go of the need to impress or compete.


Are you well dressed for friendship? Little girls love to dress up. When my daughter was four, a pink tutu was her favorite outfit for everything—dancing in ballet class, playing in the yard, or running errands with mom. And what better outfit to wear to a play date with friends? We might be too grown up to wear a pink tutu, but we never outgrow the joy of friendship. It doesn’t matter whether a girl is 5, 15, or 50, friendship is an important part of life.



Say yes to the dress! Here’s what good friends wear: So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, PUT ON a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience: bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you. Beyond all these things put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body; and be thankful. (Colossians 3:12-15, emphasis added)


Always the right attire for every relationship, godly character traits will never go out of style. To put on means to consider it so. You have all you need to live this way and to share it with others. Enhancing our relationships, sacred moments are grounded in the love of God. As we live in the fullness of our identity in Christ, the insecurity of our souls is transformed into confidence, affirming we are chosen, holy, and beloved by God.


Getting dressed (receiving, appropriating, and reckoning) in the Spirit’s qualities comes down to choosing to rely on what God has given us—His ability to be compassionate, kind, humble, and gentle.

  • We can give because we’ve received.

  • We can love because we’ve been loved.

  • We can forgive because we’ve been forgiven.

When we put on the qualities of the Spirit, we are free to enjoy our friendships with open hearts. (Tweetable). Confident and secure in Christ, we don’t need to draw love and acceptance from others. It’s great when we have that—but it isn’t a demand or expectation anymore.


Resting in Christ unravels threads of anxiety and pressure weaving through friendships when we feel insecure. (Tweetable). Can I tell you how much this frees me to be OK if everyone doesn’t like me? I may not like it, but I know we aren’t going to bond with everyone.


Receiving the fullness of God’s Spirit, our needs for love, acceptance, worth, security, and value are met. We can focus on giving to others, friends and family, trusting God to meet our needs, which He often does through people in our lives. He has a way of working it all together for good.


Make the simple choice to put on God’s qualities as you get dressed each day. Let the practical action of putting on your clothes remind you to prayerfully put on the Spirit. Just as you wouldn’t go to work without your shoes, don’t leave the house without abiding in the love of God.


As you think about the Colossians verses above, note the qualities demonstrating the nature of Jesus. Is there an attribute of the Spirit missing from your relational wardrobe? Do you have a relationship in need of a few intentional choices like these? How could choosing holy in the moment make a difference in your friendships today?



Excerpted from Holy in the Moment: Simple Ways to Love God and Enjoy Your Life. Dispelling the idea that holiness is not a religious version of perfectionism, Holy in the Moment includes Ginger’s personal journey in finding help and hope for anxiety as well as biblical insights, and simple ideas to enjoy a deeper life and freedom in our identity in Christ. God does mighty things through the little choices we make to trust God in the moment.



If you struggle with things like perfectionism, busyness, people-pleasing, anxiety, insecurity, or rule-based religion, you might be surprised to discover just how practical it is to choose holy in the moment. For a sample chapter and more information, visit Ginger's book page at www.GingerHarrington.com. An award-winning blogger and inspiring speaker for retreats and conferences throughout the US, Ginger Harrington is also a popular radio guest. Holy in the Moment is Ginger’s debut book with Abingdon Press. Connect with Ginger on her website, Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter.

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How to be the friend you want to have- finding friendship in our holy moments

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