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Dear Parent of an Un-well child: It's Not Your Fault

Special Needs Parenting. To the parent of an un-well child. It's not your fault. Parenting a sick kid. Faith.

To the parent of an un-well child--

It’s not your fault—

This is what I deeply and desperately want you to know:

If your child is sick, or suffering, or struggling—It is not your fault, friend.

Do a heart check. Yes, go deep into that place within. Check your heart and motives and beliefs as we all should do regularly.

Special Needs Parenting. To the parent of an un-well child. It's not your fault. Parenting a sick kid. Faith.

Ask yourself who you are trusting.

Dissect your faith for a moment if you must.

Lay it all out before the Lord, and then in the purest form of surrender, release that burden from your shoulders.

Some people will say things to you either intentionally or unintentionally that will make you feel as if this outcome for your child lands on you. As if somehow your feeble hands could have done or undone this.

Your personal faith is now on display for the world to pick apart and make assumptions—“if you’re child has not been healed perhaps your faith is simply not strong, perhaps you don’t believe at all.”

And that's difficult.

But friend, don’t allow yourself that extra load. Don’t allow yourself the turmoil of feeling such great responsibility in this hard place.

God sees your heart. He sees your faith. Your words. Your desperate pleas.

Yes, you don’t do it perfectly, as none of us can—and that is truly the whole point of the Gospel message, is it not? That on our own, you and me, we can’t. Our faith can never be great enough. Our works can never be good enough. Not without Him.

Keep trusting Him. Keep praying. Keep believing the best for you child. Hold onto hope with everything you have.

But as you walk this un-healed journey—that can be hard and burdensome and painful—release the weight. Don’t blame yourself. Don’t carry condemnation—when Christ has already carried it all.

Friend, trust God enough to trust Him even when He doesn’t work on your time table. Even when He doesn’t do exactly what you want, how you want, when you want.

And never stop believing that He will heal your child—either here in this place or for forever in eternity.

He has already carried the burden for all the brokenness we face.

Please friend, give yourself grace. Don’t take the blame.

Hear me: It's not your fault.

“I was given a thorn in my flesh…Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” 2 Corinthians 12:7-9

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