It's as if I'm Peter.
He calls me out. A calling I am sure of. One He dare not let me forget, not for even a single moment.
And I say, "ok God, if it's really you, let's do this."
I step out of the boat and I begin to walk. Baby steps at first because I am still a bit uncertain. Is He really calling ME?
But, again, His voice rings clearly and I say "Ok God, I hear you."
So, I keep walking. My steps becoming more assured. I'm doing it! Walking on water. I'm making steps toward the direction that He is calling me. Now, I'm almost running, so sure this is exactly what I was made to do.
But, as I run I begin to grow tired. This starts to feel heavy. And, in my humanity I begin to focus more on how I surely am incapable of this task and in doing so I lose site of the one who called me out to begin with.
You see, in the busy-ness of carrying out His purpose, I made it a bit about me. And, the more busy I got, the more I began to look side to side, the more I slowly allowed my gaze to fall upon the deep water around me, rather than the ONE who holds me up.
Like Peter, I too begin to falter. My steps become un-easy. And, just like that, the water is swallowing me up, threatening to steal everything from me.
Maybe I'm not supposed to be here in this deep water, I think to myself.
Perhaps, I misunderstood His voice.
Maybe He is not calling ME at all....
But, in my panicked state. Flailing there in the water, just trying to stay afloat, I happen to look up. And, I see Him there.
Him, Jesus, the all powerful one.
And, I remember the truth- this was never about me to begin with. It was not about my ability or my strength. It was NOT about how fast I could run or how well I could stand.
In that moment I cried our for help to the only one that I knew undoubtedly could save me.And, as He always does, He outstretched his arm and took my hand in His, pulling me up once more.
And, with my eyes fixed on Him, I put one foot in front of the other, and I walk again. Doing more than I could EVER accomplish on my own.
You see, HE called ME. HE equips ME. HE breathes life into ME. HE works through ME.
And the second I lose site of HIM, I fail.
May my eyes ever be fixed on the Savior.
Check out this other post about falling into the waters of life.
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